An amazingly detailed tribute, you'd have to think this was taken from a journal, in which case it's impressive to keep such a record of their life, or maybe Stephen just has a fantastic memory.

Even through that detail you can really feel how much he loved and admired her.

> Somehow in the shock of what has happened it feels as if I just met Elise, and now she is gone.

A reminder that time's cruelty is making the wonderful feel shorter than the painful.

> My only solace in this tragedy is that the end came instantly, after a day filled with nothing but joy.

Hopefully we're all lucky enough to be allowed to rest without suffering while surrounded by loved ones.

I met Stephen in 2023 at some MIT AI conference. He was the kindest, most grandfatherly person. I was expecting to meet a relatively pontifical person given some of his work, but he was such the opposite that I was completely taken aback. I spent two hours that evening with him and a small group of people talking about language and maths and so on. (He was very kind to let me take a photo: https://postimg.cc/LYmVCs0G)

That conversation had a tremendous impact on me and completely changed my attitude towards meeting new people.

I am heartbroken for him and his family. And I can see that kind / heartfelt / grandfatherly nature throughout this memoriam.

And please, God, let me die with my wife like John Nash did in that NJ Turnpike taxi crash.

This is a moving tribute. Stephen Wolfram's writing often has certain faults, which I mention only to be able to say that he has here transcended them; this is a genuine and heartfelt piece of writing which makes me feel sad for his loss.

I’ve been a light reader of Stephen Wolfram’s work over the years. I am grateful he’s taken the time to write this tribute. May she rest in peace and condolences to Stephen.

How I considered Stephen coming in to this:

1) he is wonderfully generous with his ideas and knowledge, especially towards the young. I think this is an extremely good quality.

2) he attracts envy from many people, partly because of his successes, but also because of his manner. I feel his manner is often totally unintentional to cause upset, but also I think he’s so unashamedly himself and how he wants to be that it is sometimes verging on rude, which people hold against him (mostly unfairly, sometimes fairly)

3) given his commitment to work I always wondered about how he balanced his personal life amongst all that

What I found very interesting about this letter was how his personal relationship seems to have been in keeping with the man we see on the outside:

1) the first thing in the lists on his wife, as well as what he spends significant time on in the letter, are her intellectual capabilities. He is a man of intellect through and through, and it shows in how he writes of his wife.

2) he mentions how he has failed to collaborate with her for their entire marriage because of their strong wills. It strikes me as somewhat sad that there’s this failure to connect somehow. It might be that a prioritisation of the intellect in life holds us back from virtues.

3) there were moments where he talks about how she was intuitively right and how he had to work things out by taking “the long way”. I just get the feeling that a lot of their relationship was somehow like this - where something obvious to the normal intuition is something to be worked out by the intellect.

4) I think there might be an element of regret in this letter. A regret that perhaps a connection could have been different had one chosen to indulge one’s intellect less. I feel like this moment perhaps made Stephen’s mind pause for a moment on that - an all too human pause.

This was really moving and sincere. It made me think of my dad's catastrophic stroke while recovering from brain surgery. I wish that, like Wolfram's wife, he had died instantly on the operating table instead of enduring six years of agony for himself and everyone else.

It's a profound thing to lose someone that intertwined in your life. I should know.

Such a beautiful tribute. You get such a sense of his urgency at really wanting as many as possible to understand how precious and wonderful this woman was to him.

A very beautiful tribute to her life and memory. My condolences go out to her family.

It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, but, god damn does it still hurt to move through that loss. I'm glad it was fast and painless for her and her family.

  I envy not in any moods
  The captive void of noble rage,
  The linnet born within the cage,
  That never knew the summer woods:

  I envy not the beast that takes
  His license in the field of time,
  Unfetter'd by the sense of crime,
  To whom a conscience never wakes;

  Nor, what may count itself as blest,
  The heart that never plighted troth
  But stagnates in the weeds of sloth;
  Nor any want-begotten rest.

  I hold it true, whate'er befall;
  I feel it when I sorrow most;
  Tis better to have loved and lost
  Than never to have loved at all.

What a beautiful tribute.

I'm making this about me, so feel free to skip past this.

I've been married for 26 years, which means I'd only have 10 more years with my wife, which would take us almost into retirement. That's not near enough. We're meant to have at least another 25-30 to take us deep into our 70s, becoming grandparents and seeing out that whole stage of life.

No guarantees in life, obviously, but there's no way to plan a backup "life partner". Half of the two people with that specific shared life experience is gone, it's an unfillable hole.

I couldn’t help but feel a bit emotional reading this. Elise was clearly an incredible human. Thank you Stephen for sharing her story and your love for her. I cannot imagine a better way to have spent those 36 years. Rest in peace Elise.

I am so sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful and touching tribute and she was lucky to have such a loving husband.

A beautiful read, that is both happy and sad. Sad because the days of their conversations have past. Happy because the memories of their conversations will live on. But since her passing is so sudden, more sad than happy, there are so many things she didn't get to finish.

I found this touching. As someone who has tried to read a new kind of science, but struggled with the arrogant style, the love and respect this shows he had for his wife came as a welcome surprise. It has raised my opinion of Stephen Wolfram as a person considerably. Elise sounds amazing. He and his family have my sympathy.

That's neat that she designed their house. When I've seen photos of Wolfram in his house I've always thought it looked an awesome high-class place.

This is a lovely and heartfelt tribute. Thanks for sharing this.

damn. I am so sorry to hear his wife passed, my heart goes out to him and his family. What a thoughtful tribute.

I have always been a big fan of Stephen Wolfram, I had no idea his wife was such a great mathematician.

As everybody privileged-to-know knows, a long term partner becomes an equal, and you theirs. One of life's greatest blessings. There is nothing like it.

> But from that moment on we talked essentially every day for 36 years

Man. Our culture is speed running away from one of the greatest joys you can have in your life (a healthy relationship). Stephen, if you can see this, thank you for opening up. Wishing you comfort and peace.

You can feel his love for her. Heartbreaking.

I have no words, but this tribute is beautiful. I can’t imagine losing someone like that after so many years. Heartbreaking

Beautiful and warmth-filled tribute to Elise . Gorgeous piece of writing reflecting his sense of joy, love and loss. A life well lived.

It sounds like the author had an amazing partner and I'm sorry for his loss.

Beautiful tribute. Perhaps a reminder to self to write my own version prior to our passing. Such misfortune to be taken so young.

Wonderful tribute.

Sounds like Elise Cawley had a great life. Stephen Wolfram has an incredible mind and this post is a great example.

The mathematical biography is fascinating, but it is the tiny domestic details that stay with you...

Beautifully written. My condolences and wish you all the best!

Stephen, we haven't met, but this was a beautiful, heartbreaking tribute. Your wife was clearly an extraordinary person. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

Should everyone have someone who loves them so much to remember them like this.

Beautiful tribute. May we all be seen so clearly with whatever time we have on this plane.

I've been reading Wolfram quite a bit lately. I'm sad for him and the family, my condolences.

Sorry for his loss, and for everybody helped by her in any way. However ineffective a comment like this is

I am so sorry for your loss Mr. Wolfram.

What a tribute, what a way of writing, honestly i just felt i was living it

I am not crying. You're crying. Oh, man. Rest in peace, Elise and I'm so sorry for your loss, Stephen.

she was loved, she was seen, she was valued.

My Condolences!

A beloved wife and mother and a brilliant partner as well. My condolences to the family.

I am 56. I have been married for almost 21 years. I will not be reading this link, but I am glad it exists.

Midlife brings many things, some good and some bad and some just part of life. One of these is the more visceral, serious understanding -- replacing the mere intellectual knowledge you had before -- that the ride you're on will end.

You will, in your middle years, have friends whose own rides were far shorter than any of you imagined.

You will see people's partners die, and the emotional wreckage that leaves behind. My friend D. is, right now, navigating his first summer alone after losing his wife of nearly 40 years last spring (fuck cancer).

You will realize it could be you, on either side of the sod.

May Elise's memory be a blessing. But I'm gonna go hug my wife now instead of reading Stephen's piece.

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Well shit.

Also, certificate error, but that's forgiveable in the circumstances.